World War Z Review

Written by:  Jon Guzik

With a movie like “World War Z”, it’s much easier to just give a breakdown of things that just didn’t work  or, well, sucked.

PG-13—The fact that this is a zombie movie, and NOT rated R is baffling to me.  In a time where zombie themed media is taking the world by storm I can see them wanting to attract a broader audience, but this movie just made it ridiculous.  There was very, VERY little blood.  And some of the blood we do see, is digitally turned black so as to make it seem like it’s not blood.  So are we just supposed to assume that Brad Pitt was changing his oil in the midst of a zombie war zone?  Shit, the Walking Dead on AMC has more graphic content and it’s not even on HBO or Showtime!

Brad Pitt—Usually this would mean a good thing for a movie, having Brad Pitt headlining a Zombie pic---what could go wrong?  Well to answer, a lot.  The biggest problem is that fact that Brad Pitt’s part could have literally been played by 95% of other actors his age.  He brings absolutely nothing to the movie (except a producing credit and his name splattered all over movies and advertisements).  This is all without even mentioning the fact the Pitt must have put his invincibility cheat on, because he gets out of the most insane circumstances almost unscathed, including but not limited to traveling across the globe during a virus breakout taking over the world, and surviving a plane crash.  Really removes any tension when our "hero" can't really die (or even bleed red!).

Horrible CGI Zombies—I hate to bring up the comparison again, but it’s almost unavoidable:  but why does a TV show like Walking Dead have better looking zombies than a film like this costing $200 million+???  These CGI zombies look God awful, and close up ones with full makeup look no better.  Point being, if you’re not afraid or at least un-easy towards the zombies, then you don’t feel suspense as people run from them in the movie.

 

Real convincing...

 

RESHOOTS—For those of you who don’t read movie news 24/7 like myself, you might not know the fact that this movie once cost $125 million to make, only to go eventually over $200 million after the had to reshoot a large portion of the latter half of the film after changing the ending.  Usually when movies do this, it’s not at all a good sign, and with this movie a lot of people gave it the benefit of the doubt.  But no amount of money can fix a bad movie, or an ending that works for that bad movie.  Maybe if they weren’t so occupied blacking out blood for the kids out there, they could have focused better on a cohesive story.

Well that’s all that really needs to be said.  For the very few people who read this, half of the reason I would hope you do is to  be able to avoid possible disappointments in movies your excited for, therefore saving you money.  Do that here, please.  At the very least, wait until an unrated cut for BluRay comes out (if there even will be one).  But if you’re into a bloody good time of a zombie movie, comparable to AMC’s The Walking Dead, or other zombie flicks like 28 Days Later or Zombieland, then look elsewhere.

Grade: D

 

P.S.--I'm not so sure Earth would run this efficiently in a world-wide panic.  The movie "Contagion" played this much better.

Man of Steel Review

 Written by:  Jon Guzik

 

 

“One of the saddest things in life…is wasted talent.” This quote from the classic movie “A Bronx Tale” was going through my mind the entire time I was watching “Man of Steel”. Directed by Zack Snyder (300, Watchmen), written by David S. Goyer and produced by Christopher Nolan (The Dark Knight Trilogy), the anticipation for this film was at such a high level, especially when you factor in that this is supposed to lead eventually to a Justice League movie. Even the trailers that have come out over the past several months just had a “shut up and take my money” quality to them, making it look like the Batman Begins for Superman, which is not at all a bad thing. But watching the film, it’s hard to get invested in Clark Kent’s/Kal-El’s (Henry Cavil) story like you did with Bruce Wayne.

This is not to say MOS doesn’t have its moments, because it does. There are flashes of a great movie in there somewhere, but the execution was flawed to say the least. The film starts with the birth of little Superman on the planet Krypton, and his father Jor-El (Russell Crowe) and mother Lara Lor-Van (Ayelet Zurer) and must save him from the evil General Zod (Michael Shannon). They put baby of steel in a spaceship for Earth. This is where the movie starts having problems. Instead of guiding us through his childhood with his adoptive parents Jonathan and Martha Kent (Kevin Costner and Diane Lane) while learning how to adapt to his powers and live amongst humans, it cuts back and forth between the present and past, making the movie feel awkward and unbalanced. It definitely would have benefited from a more linear narrative.

For a movie that is 2+ hours long, you almost wish it would slow down to spend more time with character interaction and development.Lois Lane (Amy Adams), while very good in the role, is pretty wasted here, and her relationship with Clark really comes out of nowhere, and snowballs fast. And General Zod as a villain is absolutely unengaging. I almost don't remember any of his motivations or cared why he was a bad guy. For most comic book movies, it usually rests on the villain and the challenge they give our hero on whether or not the movie will be good, and in this case boring villain equals boring movie.Even the amount of time it takes for him to put on the cape and suit, seems rushed and uneventful.Some saving graces for the film are Hans Zimmer’s powerful score, and the special effects are top notch.But when we care little to not at all about the characters, then these are wasted.

Stop. Just stop.

 

 

Other distracting elements in the film, such as the product placement, are really annoying aspects of the film. Now I know most summer blockbusters have product placement, this one seems overboard. You’ll start thinking to yourself during big action scenes: “Why does Superman keep fighting in and around IHOP?"

“Man of Steel” went from my most anticipated film of 2013, to one of the biggest disappointments of the 2013. Don’t get me wrong, the film isn’t all a swing and a miss. Crowe, Cavil, and Adams all do great with the roles, but not so much for anyone else. And the special effects and score like I said really carry the film, and I would wonder how much worse the movie would be without the standouts of all these elements. Maybe I’m being a little harsh on it, but at the end of the day, with the amount of talent involved in the making of the movie (especially Nolan), the execution just comes up short. I really hope however the film does well box-office wise just so we can get to see our “Justice League” movie go head-to-head with The Avengers. If the do go forward, here’s hoping that they learn from Marvel (and Nolan’s Dark Knight Trilogy), and make it more about the characters, and not smashing up 7-11’s and IHOPS.

Grade: C-



P.S.--No after credits scene?! Way to get us excited about future installments and movies leading up to Justice league...

This is the End Review

Written by:  Jon Guzik

 

So if you put the likes of Seth Rogan, Jonah Hill, James Franco, Jay Baruchel, Danny Mcbride, and Craig Robertson in the same movie, playing themselves--is it funny?  Let me put it this way, I had a big smile on my face from the opening scene through the credits, with big laughs sprinkled throughout.  “This is the End” is one of the more enjoyable comedies to come out in some time.  The concept is borderline genius, having a host of comedic and other celebs at James Franco’s house for a party, when all the sudden, the apocalypse comes out of nowhere and spoils the party.

What’s so great about this movie is that it has a great self-awareness about itself.  After the apocalypse claims the lives of mostly everyone except the core group (most of the deaths being funny themselves), it’s up to them to figure out what’s going on,  and to just survive in James Franco’s boarded up house.  While they are doing this, they have plenty of time conversing about spliting up the food, including the delicious Milky Way that everyone wants, to the movies they’ve all been in, including which ones of those deserve sequels (Pineapple Express 2 anyone?).  Every person is just absolutely funny here, with some of the standouts being Danny Mcbride channeling his best Kenny Powers into his own persona--but even worse.  One of the funniest scenes in the entire movie is an exchange between him and James Franco after Danny “borrowed” a porno mag from him. Seth Rogan is basically playing the same guy he has in all his other movies here (which they all make fun of him for by the way) and he’s just as funny as ever. Even Michael Cera playing a coked out, Rihanna-ass-slapping party goer, is another standout.

 

 

I don’t think this movie would have been as funny with the same actors, but not playing themselves.  Being able to reference movies they’ve all been in, including some re-enactments and reunions between most of the cast (the Superbad gang is all together in one scene too!).  I won’t spoil too many of the more funny cameos you might see, because that’s part of the joy of watching this, just seeing who’s going to pop up next.

Seth Rogan and his buddy in crime Evan Goldberg, who are responsible for such films as Superbad and Pineapple Express, have really hit this one out of the park with their first directing gig.  If you have seen any of the films in the past 10 years with any of these actors, then you will absolutely laugh your ass off throughout.  Hell, even if you haven’t, you still should laugh just at the back-and-forths some of these guys have.  “This is the End” is the funniest movie of the year, and in the running for funniest in the past several years.  So do yourself a favor and go watch it, before Michael Cera blows coke in your face.

Grade: A

 

 

P.S.--Let's hope this is the last apocalyptic movie with anatomically correct demons.  Just saying.

The Hangover Part III Review

 

Written by: Jon Guzik 



 

 

 

The third movie of a trilogy is a tough nut to crack, since movie franchises run out of steam by a third film.  The Hangover Part III, while it falls into this category of threequels, it's ultimately a funny, intense, and satisfying end to the “Wolf-Pack Saga”.  Following 2009’s freshly hilarious original and 2011’s copycat abysmal sequel, this third entry mixes up the formula of the first 2 for a much more original idea.  At certain times throughout the movie I was wondering if I was watching an action thriller or a comedy.  The opening sequence in particular feels somewhat out of place amongst some of the more childish antics witnessed over the past 2 films.  The focus also has been moved more to Alan (Zach Galifianakis), in which it is up to Stu (Ed Helms), Phil (Bradley Cooper), and Doug (Justin Bartha) to bring him to rehab because he’s acting even more ridiculous than normal being off his medication for 6 months.             

That’s when things get a little crazy, and instead of a hangover to deal with, the Wolf Pack must deal with a gangster named Marshall (John Goodman, channeling his best Walter Sobchak here).  He stops them on their way to drop Alan off at rehab, when Marshall explains that Black Doug (Mike Epps) works for him, and that Chow (Ken Jeong) stole over $20 million in gold from him, both of which set in motion the story that started all the way back in The Hangover.  Marshall then kidnaps White Doug and threatens that if Chow isn’t delivered to him, Doug will die.  That sets in motion the traveling the three of them do just to look for Chow.  Now although Galifianakis and Jeong can be very funny at times, putting their characters as the main focus of this movie seems a little much, leaving characters like Stu and Phil with not much to do, therefore giving the cast a very unbalanced feel.  It’s still fun to see these characters interact again-especially now that Alan has a love/hate relationship with the wolf pack (loves Phil and his shirts, hates Stu).

"You think I'm fucking around here? Mark it zero!"

 

Taking the gang to Mexico seemed like an obvious choice, and giving a sense of closure by bringing us back to Vegas was a nice touch.  We even get some fun cameos, including Carlos from the first movie, and Melissa McCarthy playing a pawn shop owner with the hots for Alan.  Not every character has good moments, Doug is as useless as ever just being a plot point for the kidnapping, and Marshall played by Goodman is pretty menacing at times, but ultimately is only in a few scenes and the character was basically a throw away.  That being said, I found myself laughing throughout most of the film, which is certainly more than I can say for Part II.

Mixing up the formula from the first/second films, Hangover Part III is a pretty uneven movie.  It almost seems like an action thriller with funny scenes, rather than the other way around.  Most of the characters are very funny to watch, and have some great lines (“I’ve got a pretty dope sense of humor, brah”).  Not as funny and refreshing as the original, but light-years better than the sequel, Hangover Part III has some genuinely laugh-out loud moments and is a fitting end to the Wolf Pack Trilogy, just don’t get this film confused with Bad Boys.

  Grade: B

 

***Scene after credits Warning***

You think Stu's face tattoo was bad..........?

 

P.S.--Best Giraffe beheading put on film.  In the words of Chow "Who you apart of, PETA?  Pussy...."

Star Trek Into Darkness Review

 

Written by:  Jon Guzik

 

 

 

 

Back in 2009, I was for the most part very pleasantly surprised by JJ Abram’s take on Star Trek.  He took a franchise that I knew relatively nothing about and made it grounded, and dare I say it—more like Star Wars.  The film actually had you care about the characters and their relationships, and you enjoyed seeing the dynamic between all of them.  While the new film Into Darkness can be just as fun and great to look at as the first film, it ultimately suffers from plot holes and moments that make you laugh or cringe, when you definitely aren’t supposed to.

The film opens with a visually stunning set piece of a red-vegetation planet, and the effects for both the alien tribe, as well as the volcano are top notch.  Unfortunately after this opening sequence, Abrams never really takes his foot off the gas pedal.  Like last years The Dark Knight Rises, everything happens in such a fast pace it’s almost impossible to catch everything if you’re not paying attention.  It would have been better to have more scenes that were slower paced so we can catch our breaths. The cast from the first film returns, including the two (?!) protagonists- James Kirk (Chris Pine) and Spock (Zachary Quinto).  The strongest part of the film is the dynamic these two have with each other, and some of their back and forth is really the heart of the movie.  However, not much can be said of the rest of the cast, Bones played by Karl Urban simply is there to have an angry face while spitting out comic relief, Sulu (John Cho) and Chekov (Anton Yelchin) are equally underused and are one-dimensional throughout.   Even Uhura (Zoe Saldana) and Spock’s “relationship” falls flat within 20 minutes in the movie and goes nowhere after that.  The reliable Simon Pegg as Scotty is a saving grace amongst this crew of snoozers, which is unfortunate because they all worked well in the first movie.

The villain in the movie, John Harrison, is played by Benedict Cumberbatch (such a powerful name!), and for the most part is played to great effect.  His chilling deep voice has the same kind of effect on you that Hannibal Lecter’s voice did in "Silence of The Lambs"--which can  put you at ease and unease at the same time.  However, his character has a big flaw, which I can’t get into without delving into SPOILER territory, so be warned…
 

SPOILERS****

 

Although the first film was great, one thing that always bothered me about it is the fact that even though it was a "reboot", they decided to use an actor from the original series: Leonard Nemoy. And in STID, he does nothing except fill in young Spock of what to expect from Khan in the future. Yes, “John Harrison” is, surprise!.......not John Harrison. Which in and of itself is extremely over-used lately. More recently in Iron Man 3, they had a smokescreen for the real villain, as well as Dark Knight Rises with Bane and "Miranda Tate". Let's hope this will be an end to the "Smokescreen Villain" era. What's so bad about knowing who our bad guy is ahead of time? Pulling the ol' switcheroo on us as moviegoers gets old after a while, so at this point it's just lazy writing/plotting.

 

Back to Nemoy-- so is he just going to show up in every future installment in the franchise to warn young Spock of every potential problem that may arise? Abrams really had a wasted opportunity to start fresh for anactual reboot where no other previous characters and/or adding little homages-like Spock this time yelling "KHAAAAANN", instead of Kirk from “Wrath of Khan”. That moment has been parodied so many times in the last 20 +years, and as serious as the moment in the new movie was supposed to be when Spock yells it, I couldn't help but burst out laughing.

 

I just don’t see the point of bringing in old characters like Nemoy back, as well as referencing old the old movies and TV show when they should be creating new inventive ideas, while at the same time respecting the source material. After all, this franchise is considered a reboot, so it just ends up being confusing, convoluted, and overall annoying that they are bringing these kinds of things back for the new films. Here's hoping whomever takes over the franchise after JJ Abrams leaves for Star Wars, they will let it this franchise stand on its own 2 feet and not make so many blatant, lazy references to the old franchise.

 

END SPOILERS****

 

 

The film is not all bad, however. There are fine performances throughout, although most characters aren’t given much to do anyway. It ends in such a way that you really want to see the next movie, which is something some sequels don't do well enough sometimes. The visual effects are nothing short of fantastic, which makes me all the more curious to see how Abrams will handle Star Wars. But plot holes/inconsistencies, and the way they handle most of the characters is sub par at best, therefore leading this to just be a slightly above average summer movie. The main takeaway from this movie is that-----well there wasn't one. This is one of those movies where you'll give your hard earned 2+ hours of attention, and essentially forget about it when you leave. Sure it's mostly fun while your watching it, but the best kind of movies are one's that create a dialogue amongst fans and moviegoers afterward -for weeks, months, or even years later. Which is a disappointment, because you would/should expect it from a director like Abrams. Abrams is notorious for admitting he never liked Star Trek growing up, and was always a Star Wars fan at heart, and it shows in this film--- for better, or worse.

Grade: C+

P.S.--This movie probably has the most tears/crying of any summer blockbuster in history.